## Metaveri Başlık: **How to Figure Out What You Want Out of Life** Yazar: *Allie Volpe* Kategori: #articles ## Altı Çizilenler - Perhaps unsurprisingly, people feel more competent, more connected to others, and more independent when they are intrinsically motivated — that is, internally or self-motivated. When parents, friends, or other outside forces pressure you to, say, pursue a career in medicine when you really want to work in fashion — known as extrinsic motivation — you might feel stressed, afraid of missing out on what your peers are doing, unfulfilled, or concerned you’ll upset a parent if you stray from the path, says [Jeremy Nicholson](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/jeremy-nicholson-msw-phd), a social and personality psychologist. - That external fulfillment never lasts long, Coffman adds, and you’re likely to feel disappointed and to search for the next “thing” from which you can earn approval. Alternatively, if you’ve always wanted a house with a big yard so you can rescue dogs and host your large family for get-togethers because of your genuine appreciation for animals and loved ones, your motivations are internally driven. - “It’s not about asking the question, ‘What do you want out of life?’ which sets you up for external measurements again, and some kind of ‘measured entity’ or ‘output,’” Sharma says. “Instead, ask yourself: ‘What do I enjoy about life?’” - Coffman says to consider what naturally excites you and to feed those desires. “If you lived on an island and there was nobody around to people-please or to impress, what is it that you would want in your life?” she says. “What is it that you would be doing? What are your natural passions and skills? What excites you naturally?” - However, consider the alternative: coasting along in a career or relationship you don’t quite feel passionate about because you never considered other possibilities. At any age, setting aside time and intentionality to decipher what motivates you and whether you’ve been living authentically can be enlightening. This isn’t to say a life full of “traditional” markers of success and happiness isn’t worthwhile, but some contemplation can determine if these milestones are desirable for *you*.